Sunday Funday

For the most part I always look forward to colonoscopies. Probably because they are usually a stepping stone to some sort of decision-making. Unlike a lot of other tests, I feel like I get more answers. Not like I need someone to tell me I'm sick but when you feel like shit and don't really feel like things are progressing in a positive direction, it helps to have evidence that can be analyzed. And of course doctors much prefer studying an image or biopsy rather than actually listening to your symptoms.

I'll be going down to Maryland again on Wednesday night to have the procedure done Thursday. I suspect my momma and I might end up staying a few days and depending on how I feel I might try to turn it into a mini-vacation for the weekend. I am not dreading it at all because I don't need to drink anything to clean out my system. I just have to refrain from food on Wednesday and use a few enemas come Thursday morning. And if you've ever had a colonoscopy, you might be able to relate to the ease with which I would rather stick a tube up my ass than drink any form of laxative.

I've also determined that steroids do nothing for me except ease my pain. Every time I am coming off of them or completely roid-free I've thought that my life is so miserable. Now that I've been back on them for a few weeks I still feel miserable but I am not nearly in as much pain. This is definitely a relief but it's frustrating that the steroids do nothing to ease the urgency and volume of crap still bypassing my ileostomy and coming out below. I guess as long as they are doing something, it is worth it.

Another thing I am going to have to deal with this week is that my doctor here has tried to contact me because my pharmacy called his office to inform him that I decided not to have Cimzia delivered. I haven't intentionally ignored his calls, but I haven't exactly been eager to call him back and talk to him. I am just not looking forward to the uncomfortableness of explaining that while I appreciate what he has done for me this past year, I am deciding to move on to someone else. But it is a conversation I must have and I would rather get it out of the way than have to dodge phone calls for the next few weeks. Awkward.

Hopefully next time I'll have more answers.